hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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