She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
19 Totally Clueless People That’ll Make You Say ‘Bless Your Heart’
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
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Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible