he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
