does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
