I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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