Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
