the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
