Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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