Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize