You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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