we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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