gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
