batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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