just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
