just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
