Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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