I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
