i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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