Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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