I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize