TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Dicks are not precious.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
