Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
home. puking in laundry basket.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize