Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
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