I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
At least life still wants to fuck me.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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