just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
a search helicopter?!
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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