Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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