No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
