You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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