I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
