i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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