Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
