I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize