Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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