dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
