Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
