he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
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While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
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Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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