doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
