I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
she told me i tasted like america
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
