so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
