I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
