Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize