That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
