I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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