ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
So squirting runs in the family.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
