Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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