Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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