I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize