She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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