stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
