have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
