my soul wont recognize me after tonight
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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