I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
