S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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