Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
