I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
