I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
