Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
