I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
