it wasn't lemon gatorade
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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