Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
