Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
