I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
