To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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