the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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