So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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