I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
