SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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