i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
